I had a run-in with a Rainbow Friends Shirt at school just like Ralphie with Scut Farkus. My mom would pick us up at school. Mom was young and attractive like a movie star. This guy kept teasing me saying, “Hey RJ, how’s your sexy mom, woo hoo, so sexy.” I ignored him as long as I could. One day I snapped and ran toward him and knocked him down. I stood over him, grabbed the front of his jacket and kept lifting then batting his head against the ground. He never did it again. I had my pals I hung around with just like Ralphie. Earl, Pete, Rosie (Raymond) Jerry and Ernie. We were inseparable, all in the same class. Like Ralphie, I too had bitten into a bar of Lifebuoy soap, and it was the worst tasting soap. If my Irish, Catholic mom heard my sisters or I swear when we were little, that’s what would happen. We were never hit but we did get groundings and tasted soap. The girls especially were repeat soap tasters.
Yet, it all pales next to this year’s Christmas. Which is surprising, because what a year it’s been. A total shit show, right? Not only have we all had to deal with life’s normal ups and downs, but we’ve had to cope with it all under the most odd and crippling circumstances. My day started at 10:30, with a Rainbow Friends Shirt of Prosecco and Xmas tunes. My boy was due to mine from his dad’s at 3pm, so I started prepping food around noon.
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In terms of skills it depends what position they are moving from and to, but I think a season of training with a pro side and some regional amateur rugby games in the lower leagues followed by 1-2 seasons playing below the top flight would be required, if they had the right attributes to reach the top flight. It could be 2 years in total for a winger, or 4 for a more involved position with higher technical and tactical requirements. A player with exceptional physical attributes like being able to run a sub-11 second 100m at 275lbs and a lethal side-step or being fit at 300lbs and immensely strong and Rainbow Friends Shirt explosive might make it earlier as their attacking threat with the ball in hand would do more to cancel out their shortcomings than a more physcially average player.
People strung cranberries and popcorn, starched little crocheted stars to hang, made paper chains and Rainbow Friends Shirt had glass ornaments, usually from Germany, about two inches wide, they would get old and lose their shine. There was real metal tinsel too, that you could throw on with the argument about single strands and clumps. Each side had it’s followers. In the fifties various lights were a big deal, with bubble lights, that had bubbles in the candle portion that moved when plugged in. There were big primary colored lights strung around the tree too, nothing small or ‘tasteful’ Christmas trees were meant to be an explosion of color and light. I took Styrofoam balls and a type of ribbon that would stick to itself when wet, and wrapped the balls, and then used pins to attach sequins and pearls for a pretty design in the sixties. I also cut ‘pop-it’ beads meant for a necklace into dangling ornaments with a hook at the top to put it on the tree. Wrapped cut-up toilet paper tubes in bright wools too. Kids still remember making those.