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My funny story is when Santa put himself on the naughty list. I travelled the Bitch Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Horny Shirt home from work a few years ago, and I enjoyed all the Christmas lights and decorations every night. One house had a huge blow up Santa on top of the garage, with his arm raised, waving at you when the wind blew. One day I left work early, and it was still daylight. As I turned the corner on this windy day, I saw Santa was a bit deflated. He was slightly bent over and his arm had fallen down so that his hand was between his legs, and the wind was blowing a bit, and he was gently bobbing up and down, up and down, and he seemed to be enjoying himself entirely too much! I was crying with laughter, and I can never look at Santa again without flashbacks.

The level of specialisation in NFL would be a challenge. Each side has unlimited substitutions and has a complete offense and defense team plus special teams for kick plays. For many NFL players, there is no requirement to be able to pass, only catch — and the ball is quite a different shape. For others, there is little requirement to touch the ball at all. All of the players on a Bitch Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Horny Shirt team need to be able to pass and catch. Kickers are specialised roles in NFL, whilst in Rugby, 3 of the positions require excellent kicking (scrum half, fly half, full back) and in the other ‘backs’ positions (inside and outside centres and two wingers), most teams have at least 2 additional accomplished at kicking from hand in open play.

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I was hoping Delores wouldn’t become a Bitch Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Horny Shirt aggressive rooster, as my recently deceased “Lance” had been, before passing on to “rooster heaven” with the assistance of a local coyote. The rooster I currently had, Gordon, was a sweet boy and was very happy to have Lance gone. Lance had been a fierce rooster who attacked literally every moving thing but the hens and me (displaying extreme good taste and discretion) and I was not prepared to live through as second several years of yet another “attack rooster”. Neither were the neighbor dogs. Nor were the neighbors, for that matter. I really didn’t think this would be a problem, as Delores was such a sweet rooster – showing no violence or aggression at all, and just wanted to sit on my shoulder (rather like a parrot) and look around. He’d snuggle against anyone’s neck or in anyone’s lap who would hold him and he adored being petted. Delores ran around digging for bugs in the lawn – but was just as happy sitting by the kitchen sink watching me trim vegetables or whatever. He made (as all my chickens did) a truce with the cats and was friends with the goats, horses and my other rooster, Gordon. They all slept together in the barn at night.

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Christmas decorations are a Bitch Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Horny Shirt affectation. Whether one puts them up or doesn’t put them up, whether one leaves them up or takes them down, whether they are put up in January or any other time before December, has no impact on the superstition defined as luck. Good luck and bad luck are merely characterizations of serendipitous occurrences that are random in nature but which leave us either going hooray (good luck) or lamenting the vagaries of uncaring nature (bad luck). But worrying about or praying about or hoping for either as the case may be, like astrology for example, is simply superstitious dreck. As a native yo the city I must say there are three a places that I would suggest to visitors to really get the best holiday scene amd spirit. My first pick is going to be Westfield Mall’s extended outdoor shopping area Union Square. Located at the corner of Powell and Geary in the heart of downtown San Francisco the Christmas spirit is reminiscent of the movie “A Miracle on 24th Street”. That is minus the snow.